{"id":1819,"date":"2025-08-15T10:19:03","date_gmt":"2025-08-15T10:19:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/leannesteyntherapy.co.za\/?p=1819"},"modified":"2026-03-23T07:00:36","modified_gmt":"2026-03-23T07:00:36","slug":"why-i-talk-about-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/leannesteyntherapy.co.za\/af\/why-i-talk-about-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"Why I Talk About Sex"},"content":{"rendered":"<h2 class=\"wb-stl-heading2\">Because intimacy is part of being human &#8211; not something to be whispered about<\/h2>\r\nLet\u2019s be honest &#8211; <i>\u201csexologist\u201d<\/i> isn\u2019t a word you often hear at a braai, at church, or while picking mielies at the co-op. Especially not in small towns like Rustenburg, where tradition runs deep and some topics are simply not discussed<i>.<\/i>\r\n\r\nPeople pause when they hear what I do.\r\nSome smile politely. Some look confused.\r\nA few whisper&#8230;\r\nAnd then there are the brave ones &#8211; the curious ones &#8211; who lean in and ask, \u201cSo\u2026 what <i>is<\/i> a sexologist?\u201d\r\n\r\nHere\u2019s my answer:\r\nI talk about sex because <i>it matters.<\/i> Because intimacy is a part of health, not just a \u201cprivate issue\u201d or a punchline. Because the silence around it is causing more harm than the conversation ever will.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n<h3>\ud83d\ude36\u200d\ud83c\udf2b\ufe0f <b>The silence is louder than we realise.<\/b><\/h3>\r\nIn my work as a counsellor and sexologist, I sit with people who are carrying private battles they\u2019ve never spoken about &#8211; not even to their partners, not even to themselves:\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>\u201cI\u2019ve lost my desire\u2026 is something wrong with me?\u201d<\/li>\r\n \t<li>\u201cWe haven\u2019t been intimate in months. I feel so far from my partner.\u201d<\/li>\r\n \t<li>\u201cI don\u2019t feel connected to my body, but I\u2019ve never had the words to explain it.\u201d<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\nAnd you know what? These aren\u2019t rare confessions. These are everyday people. Your neighbour. Your cousin. You, maybe.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n<h3><b>\ud83d\udcac<\/b><b> When we don\u2019t talk about it, we carry it alone.<\/b><\/h3>\r\nThat\u2019s why I do this work &#8211; to make space for honest, respectful conversations about intimacy, desire, shame, pleasure, pain, and everything in between. Because sexual wellbeing <i>is<\/i> mental wellbeing. It&#8217;s not separate. It\u2019s all woven together:\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>Stress<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Childhood messages<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Body image<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Communication<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Identity<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Trauma<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Hormones<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Culture<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\nIt\u2019s never \u201cjust about sex.\u201d It\u2019s about connection &#8211; with others, and with yourself.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n<h3>\ud83c\udf3e <b>This work matters here. Especially here.<\/b><\/h3>\r\nCommunities like ours &#8211; small, tight-knit, deeply traditional &#8211; don\u2019t always make space for these conversations. Many of us grew up with silence, fear, or religious discomfort around intimacy.\r\nBut that doesn&#8217;t mean we must stay silent now.\r\n\r\nTalking about sex isn\u2019t rebellious. It\u2019s responsible.\r\nIt\u2019s not shameful. It\u2019s healing.\r\nIt\u2019s not inappropriate. It\u2019s essential.\r\n\r\nAnd it\u2019s possible to have these conversations with respect, kindness, and science -always grounded in your comfort, values, and readiness.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nSo yes &#8211; I talk about sex. In Rustenburg. In church-going homes. In farming families. In places where it\u2019s never been talked about before.\r\n\r\nBecause I believe in your right to understand your body, your needs, and your relationships &#8211; without shame.\r\n\r\nIf you&#8217;re quietly wondering if you&#8217;re \u201cnormal,\u201d feeling stuck in your relationship, or just ready to stop carrying confusion alone\u2026\r\n\r\nLet\u2019s talk.\r\nEven in Rustenburg.\r\nEspecially in Rustenburg.\r\n<h3><\/h3>\r\n<h3>\ud83c\udf3b <b>Hoekom Ek Oor Seks Praat (Selfs in Rustenburg)<\/b><\/h3>\r\nWant intimiteit is deel van menswees &#8211; nie iets om oor te fluister nie\r\n\r\nKom ons wees eerlik &#8211; <i>\u201cseksoloog\u201d<\/i> is nie \u2019n woord wat jy gereeld hoor by die kerk, by \u2019n braai, of in die ry by Spar nie. Veral nie in dorpe soos Rustenburg nie, waar tradisie diep gewortel is en sekere onderwerpe net&#8230; <i>nie bespreek word nie.<\/i>\r\n\r\nMense aarsel wanneer hulle hoor wat ek doen.\r\nSommige glimlag beleefd. Ander kyk ongemaklik.\r\n\u2019n Paar fluister&#8230;\r\nEn dan is daar die dapperes &#8211; die nuuskieriges &#8211; wat vra: \u201cSo\u2026 wat <i>is<\/i> \u2019n seksoloog nou eintlik?\u201d\r\n\r\nHier\u2019s my antwoord:\r\nEk praat oor seks omdat dit saak maak. Want intimiteit is deel van gesondheid, nie net \u2019n \u201cprivate saak\u201d of iets snaaks nie. Want die stilte rondom seks veroorsaak dikwels meer pyn as wat die gesprek ooit sal doen.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n<h2>\ud83d\ude36\u200d\ud83c\udf2b\ufe0f <b>Die stilte raak harder as wat ons besef.<\/b><\/h2>\r\nIn my werk as berader en seksoloog sit ek saam met mense wat al jare swaar dra aan dinge waaroor hulle nooit gepraat het nie &#8211; nie met hul maat nie, nie met hul familie nie, soms nie eens met hulself nie:\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>\u201cEk het nie meer lus nie\u2026 is daar iets fout met my?\u201d<\/li>\r\n \t<li>\u201cOns het al maande laas intiem geraak. Ek voel so ver van my maat af.\u201d<\/li>\r\n \t<li>\u201cEk voel nie meer tuis in my liggaam nie, maar ek weet nie hoe om dit te s\u00ea nie.\u201d<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\nHierdie vrae is nie skaars nie. Dis gewone mense. Jou buurvrou. Jou kollega. Miskien selfs jy.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\n\ud83d\udcac <b>As ons nie daaroor praat nie, dra ons dit alleen.<\/b>\r\n\r\nD\u00eds hoekom ek hierdie werk doen &#8211; om veilige, eerlike ruimte te skep vir gesprekke oor intimiteit, begeerte, skaamte, plesier, pyn, en alles tussenin. Want seksuele welstand is emosionele welstand. Dit is alles verweef:\r\n<ul>\r\n \t<li>Stres<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Opgroeiboodskappe<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Liggaamsbeeld<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Kommunikasie<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Identiteit<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Trauma<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Hormone<\/li>\r\n \t<li>Kultuur<\/li>\r\n<\/ul>\r\nDis nooit net \u201coor seks\u201d nie. Dis oor verbinding &#8211; met ander, en met jouself.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n<h2>\ud83c\udf3e <b>Hierdie werk is belangrik. Veral h\u00ed\u00e9r.<\/b><\/h2>\r\nGemeenskappe soos ons s\u2019n &#8211; klein, hegte, tradisioneel &#8211; het nie altyd plek gemaak vir hierdie soort gesprekke nie. Baie van ons het grootgeword met stilte, vrees, of skuldgevoelens rondom seks en liggaamlike nabyheid.\r\nMaar dit beteken nie ons moet vandag nog stilbly nie.\r\n\r\nOm oor seks te praat is nie rebels nie &#8211; dit is verantwoordelik.\r\nDis nie onvanpas nie &#8211; dis genesend.\r\nEn dit kan gedoen word met respek, sagtheid en kundigheid &#8211; altyd in lyn met jou waardes en gemak.\r\n\r\n&nbsp;\r\n\r\nJa &#8211; ek praat oor seks. In Rustenburg. In kerkhuise. Op plase. In plekke waar dit nog nooit voorheen bespreek is nie.\r\n\r\nWant ek glo jy verdien die reg om jou liggaam, jou begeertes en jou verhoudings te verstaan &#8211; sonder skaamte.\r\n\r\nAs jy stilletjies wonder of jy \u201cnormaal\u201d is, sukkel met jou verhouding, of net moeg is om alles alleen te dra\u2026\r\n\r\nKom gesels saam.\r\nSelfs in Rustenburg.\r\nVer\u00e1l in Rustenburg.\n\n\n<p>Curious about the work? Read more about <a href=\"\/af\/sex-therapy-south-africa\/\">sex therapy sessions<\/a> with Leanne, including <a href=\"\/af\/couples-counselling-rustenburg\/\">intimacy and couples work<\/a> and <a href=\"\/af\/about\/\">why Leanne is a registered sexologist<\/a>.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Because intimacy is part of being human &#8211; not something to be whispered about Let\u2019s be honest &#8211; \u201csexologist\u201d isn\u2019t a word you often hear at a braai, at church, or while picking mielies at the co-op. Especially not in small towns like Rustenburg, where tradition runs deep and some topics are simply not discussed. [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_yoast_wpseo_focuskw":"intimacy and sexual wellbeing","_yoast_wpseo_title":"","_yoast_wpseo_metadesc":"Intimacy and sexual well-being are part of being human, not taboo. 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