Because intimacy is part of being human – not something to be whispered about
Let’s be honest – “sexologist” isn’t a word you often hear at a braai, at church, or while picking mielies at the co-op. Especially not in small towns like Rustenburg, where tradition runs deep and some topics are simply not discussed. People pause when they hear what I do. Some smile politely. Some look confused. A few whisper… And then there are the brave ones – the curious ones – who lean in and ask, “So… what is a sexologist?” Here’s my answer: I talk about sex because it matters. Because intimacy is a part of health, not just a “private issue” or a punchline. Because the silence around it is causing more harm than the conversation ever will.😶🌫️ The silence is louder than we realise.
In my work as a counsellor and sexologist, I sit with people who are carrying private battles they’ve never spoken about – not even to their partners, not even to themselves:- “I’ve lost my desire… is something wrong with me?”
- “We haven’t been intimate in months. I feel so far from my partner.”
- “I don’t feel connected to my body, but I’ve never had the words to explain it.”
💬 When we don’t talk about it, we carry it alone.
That’s why I do this work – to make space for honest, respectful conversations about intimacy, desire, shame, pleasure, pain, and everything in between. Because sexual wellbeing is mental wellbeing. It’s not separate. It’s all woven together:- Stress
- Childhood messages
- Body image
- Communication
- Identity
- Trauma
- Hormones
- Culture
🌾 This work matters here. Especially here.
Communities like ours – small, tight-knit, deeply traditional – don’t always make space for these conversations. Many of us grew up with silence, fear, or religious discomfort around intimacy. But that doesn’t mean we must stay silent now. Talking about sex isn’t rebellious. It’s responsible. It’s not shameful. It’s healing. It’s not inappropriate. It’s essential. And it’s possible to have these conversations with respect, kindness, and science -always grounded in your comfort, values, and readiness. So yes – I talk about sex. In Rustenburg. In church-going homes. In farming families. In places where it’s never been talked about before. Because I believe in your right to understand your body, your needs, and your relationships – without shame. If you’re quietly wondering if you’re “normal,” feeling stuck in your relationship, or just ready to stop carrying confusion alone… Let’s talk. Even in Rustenburg. Especially in Rustenburg.🌻 Hoekom Ek Oor Seks Praat (Selfs in Rustenburg)
Want intimiteit is deel van menswees – nie iets om oor te fluister nie Kom ons wees eerlik – “seksoloog” is nie ’n woord wat jy gereeld hoor by die kerk, by ’n braai, of in die ry by Spar nie. Veral nie in dorpe soos Rustenburg nie, waar tradisie diep gewortel is en sekere onderwerpe net… nie bespreek word nie. Mense aarsel wanneer hulle hoor wat ek doen. Sommige glimlag beleefd. Ander kyk ongemaklik. ’n Paar fluister… En dan is daar die dapperes – die nuuskieriges – wat vra: “So… wat is ’n seksoloog nou eintlik?” Hier’s my antwoord: Ek praat oor seks omdat dit saak maak. Want intimiteit is deel van gesondheid, nie net ’n “private saak” of iets snaaks nie. Want die stilte rondom seks veroorsaak dikwels meer pyn as wat die gesprek ooit sal doen.😶🌫️ Die stilte raak harder as wat ons besef.
In my werk as berader en seksoloog sit ek saam met mense wat al jare swaar dra aan dinge waaroor hulle nooit gepraat het nie – nie met hul maat nie, nie met hul familie nie, soms nie eens met hulself nie:- “Ek het nie meer lus nie… is daar iets fout met my?”
- “Ons het al maande laas intiem geraak. Ek voel so ver van my maat af.”
- “Ek voel nie meer tuis in my liggaam nie, maar ek weet nie hoe om dit te sê nie.”
- Stres
- Opgroeiboodskappe
- Liggaamsbeeld
- Kommunikasie
- Identiteit
- Trauma
- Hormone
- Kultuur
🌾 Hierdie werk is belangrik. Veral híér.
Gemeenskappe soos ons s’n – klein, hegte, tradisioneel – het nie altyd plek gemaak vir hierdie soort gesprekke nie. Baie van ons het grootgeword met stilte, vrees, of skuldgevoelens rondom seks en liggaamlike nabyheid. Maar dit beteken nie ons moet vandag nog stilbly nie. Om oor seks te praat is nie rebels nie – dit is verantwoordelik. Dis nie onvanpas nie – dis genesend. En dit kan gedoen word met respek, sagtheid en kundigheid – altyd in lyn met jou waardes en gemak. Ja – ek praat oor seks. In Rustenburg. In kerkhuise. Op plase. In plekke waar dit nog nooit voorheen bespreek is nie. Want ek glo jy verdien die reg om jou liggaam, jou begeertes en jou verhoudings te verstaan – sonder skaamte. As jy stilletjies wonder of jy “normaal” is, sukkel met jou verhouding, of net moeg is om alles alleen te dra… Kom gesels saam. Selfs in Rustenburg. Verál in Rustenburg.Curious about the work? Read more about sex therapy sessions with Leanne, including intimacy and couples work and why Leanne is a registered sexologist.